A Nail

I wasn’t looking for a relationship and didn’t care that you fixed my tire, it was your job and no I wasn’t tipping you.

As I walked away I looked back at you thinking I hope I never see you again.

Two months later another nail.

Denying your offers, not interested.

You’re cute, but not all that, you walk on your tip-toes for goodness sake.

I gave in and went on a date with you and one year later we were married.

I wasn’t looking for love, but I fell in love with you and I thank God everyday for that nail that sealed the deal.

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Family 

Family, what is family? We are not given the option of picking our mother, father, sister, or brother when we are born this is God’s doing, but you would think if he picks them for us the seed of love should be planted within their heart because God is Love. When we are born in this world we are born with love,  but as we become older the hatred and jealousy seeds are somehow planted. Some who are biblical will say the hatred began when Cain killed Abel, but aren’t we responsible enough to know that love is right and hatred is wrong?  Martin Luther King, Jr. said “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”  I don’t understand the resentment in families today, I don’t understand the jealousy in families today, I don’t understand the hatred in families today, I just don’t understand… I’m perplexed 😕. I guess it is easy to hate someone because love is more work. 

                     

Have you Ever

🎼 Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry, have you ever needed something so bad you can’t sleep at night – Brandy  

As a young woman growing up in the 90’s you would take songs that were relatable to the situations in your life and make them your anthem. I remember singing this song until I would fall asleep at night thinking I couldn’t go on without that special someone. I would blast my walkman with my headphones glued to my ears singing so loudly wishing he could hear me, wishing he could hear the hurt in my voice. 

I truly thought I was hurt by him not loving me, I truly thought I couldn’t go on, but as I grew older I realized the hurt that I felt didn’t come from him not loving me, but from me not loving myself. The love we shared was superficial; puppy love, crush love. 

One night my anthem was blasting and then I uttered “have you ever needed something so bad” and then tears began to flow; I had sung that particular verse several times relating it to that lost love that was once in my life, but this time I related it to my father who had abandoned me at birth, I  needed and wanted a relationship with him so badly. 

At that particular moment in time an overwhelming feeling came upon me and then it hit me like a ton of bricks,  all of those years without him, trying to fill a void of not having him  in my life with a boy that was only capable of loving the first woman he had ever known, his mother. I was actually using him, he was  using me, we were using each other. We both needed something from one another; affection which consisted of short kisses on the lip  that made you get butterflies in your stomach, conversations that would last on the phone until our momma made us hang up. It didn’t make it right,  but it was right in our eyes. 

Now that I know what love truly is I am thankful to have it in my life, it’s not superficial but real. Wondering did my dad ever love me, wondering did he ever have real love for my mom, just wondering. Through all my heartaches I have learned that in order to love anyone, you must first fall in love with yourself and be true to the feelings in your heart; hopefully, just hopefully my dad loved himself enough to love me. 

Kickstand Relationships 

For those who own  a bike you know the only way you can get your bike to stand is by using a “kickstand” the purpose of the stand is to hold the bike upright to prevent it from falling. I will use that term metaphorically  in my short blog because it makes the most sense when I discuss standing relationships. If you’ve never had problems in your relationship this blog is not for you, but if you have read on. Some of you are in desperate need of a “kickstand” relationship; someone to hold you up and be there when the chips are down, someone to share the finances when you’re struggling to stay afloat, someone to lean on, so you don’t fall. Everyone needs a “kickstand” a good sturdy one that will hold the weight of their relationship and keep it from falling to pieces. 

                   

I Still Love You 

Have you ever loved someone that didn’t love you back? It hurt so bad and the feelings you felt wouldn’t go away no matter how many tears you cried. 

Have you ever loved someone that didn’t love you back? You didn’t think you could go on; you felt useless, your love was not wanted. 

Have you ever loved someone that didn’t love you back? You hated the one who hurt you, you made a vow to hurt someone so they could feel your pain.

Have you ever loved someone that didn’t love you back? You wanted the feeling of loneliness to leave, you tried to snap out of it but it lingered. 

Have you ever loved someone that didn’t love you back? You looked in the mirror time and time again giving yourself a pep talk “there’s more fish in the sea.” You said it but you didn’t believe it. 

Have you ever loved someone that didn’t love you back? You felt guilty that the love you gave was not returned.

 We have all loved someone that didn’t love us back, we have all cried tears of sadness for someone who wasn’t worth our tears, we have all given up on love. 

We gave up on love but love never gave up on us. Love will find you no matter your address it will knock on your heart one day and never leave. Love will return into your heart, and say “I still love you.”

           

Live

If you knew today was your last day on earth would you LIVE? Would you stop worrying about the cares of this world and focus on being happy, or would you let the cares of this world make you sad? All of us wake up with an agenda of what has to be done and by what time; we are not enjoying life because we are too caught up with what’s going on around us, to be frank those things will still be going on when we are DEAD. Please stop putting off today for tomorrow because there is no guarantee that we will even live to see it. 

I have always been one that while cooking I  am also washing up the dirty dishes as well, I never want to come back to a sink full of dishes after a tasty meal and full stomach. Some people are totally opposite and they may do their dishes after their meal, but can you really enjoy your meal if you’re 💭 about those dirty dishes in the sink? My rationality of this is I’m not savoring my meal  if in the back of my mind I have more to do on my agenda so I can’t enjoy that moment. Another example would be if you’re hosting a party, would you want to be in the kitchen cooking or enjoying your guests? Ninety-Nine  percent would say enjoying their guests that’s why they had the party in the first place. To truly enjoy the moment one would prepare their platters in advance so they could also partake in the food and enjoy their friends. Life is meant to be enjoyed not looked upon as a chore. Some people hate life because they don’t know about the joys of living.  It’s the little things that we must be thankful for and it’s only then that we will appreciate the bigger things. Stop thinking about tomorrow, or even the rest of that day, but in that very moment start LIVING, start LOVING, and start LAUGHING in that very moment LIVE!! 

Interracial Relationships 

I am a black woman that is married to a hispanic man, and my children are biracial. I see nothing wrong with this but some people do. Why does my relationship bother them? It shouldn’t but it does. Most people feel that you shouldn’t date outside your race but love is not close minded. Close minded individuals are afraid of change they live in fear of things that go against what “they” view as right. Love doesn’t see color and if he, she, them, or they, think it does something is wrong. 


 Some people think that having children that are biracial is wrong  because the kids won’t have a normal life, what is normal to them? They say the kids will be called names, the kids will be shunned in public for looking different, the kids will be confused on who they are……HA HA HA I laugh at ignorance. 


I raised my children to love everyone no matter the color and don’t be judgmental of others. Let me ask you these questions;  Have you ever dated outside your race? Would you date outside your race? Do you see anything wrong with someone dating outside their race? 

It shouldn’t matter who you date or marry as long as you are happy. Don’t let anyone stop you from being with the person you want to be with. I remember I was in a relationship with someone (not naming names) and he was a business owner, he couldn’t be with me in public because he would lose business from his white customers because he was dating a black woman. I’m not trying to be in a secret relationship so  when he told me this I quickly ended the relationship because I refused to be hidden. 

I am so thankful for my family, I wouldn’t trade them for the world. You can’t help who you fall in love with and no one should stop you from being in a relationship with someone you love based on their skin color, be with who brings out the best in you and makes you happy.