As I step out of the shadow of my ancestors who were taunted for their hair texture, I smile at the hatred of those that mock a generation of African Queens. Constantly called names that put down their beauty, did they not see the crown on their heads. Let me introduce myself I’m Afro-Nique, given the birth name of Sabrina to kill the stereotype of those who were named Shaquanda and Lawanda, you will be surprised how far a “GOOD” name will get you. I wear the scars of those that paved the way for my nose, my lips, my hips, for they are attached to my heritage, deeply woven by nooses that are now loosened, to chains that have been broken, to set me free. You think you know me but the pain is skin deep. I hold no grudges I rise above all that was meant to keep me down. I’m Afro-nique, not born to banded, branded, or disenchanted, but born to be ME!!
Are you blogging for likes? I often ask this question amongst bloggers to get their input on why they blog. As for me blogging is like therapy; I am cleansing my soul and it just so happens people from all over the world are reading my inner thoughts. I use to get upset when my peers didn’t like what I posted but then I realized I can’t be concerned with likes; I am writing to express what I have been through or currently in the midst of. When you write for likes you’re not expressing who you are, but who people want you to be. From this day forth be you, engage your readers, dig deep. The purpose of my blog is to let others know that they are not alone, we are all fighting some type of battle or reaping some type of award. Your objective on your page is up to you but people will get more understanding when you write from the heart.
For those who own a bike you know the only way you can get your bike to stand is by using a “kickstand” the purpose of the stand is to hold the bike upright to prevent it from falling. I will use that term metaphorically in my short blog because it makes the most sense when I discuss standing relationships. If you’ve never had problems in your relationship this blog is not for you, but if you have read on. Some of you are in desperate need of a “kickstand” relationship; someone to hold you up and be there when the chips are down, someone to share the finances when you’re struggling to stay afloat, someone to lean on, so you don’t fall. Everyone needs a “kickstand” a good sturdy one that will hold the weight of their relationship and keep it from falling to pieces.
Every natural knows it is important to get your hair trimmed every three to four months to keep their hair healthy; so this is why I called Mia the stylist of Sassy’s Salon to give me a trim. Mia has been a friend of the family for a very long time so she knows how I am about my hair, she has never trimmed my hair before but being around me I’m forever mentioning how I dread getting my hair trimmed and how I despise scissor happy stylist. I usually trim my own hair, but I always feel that I am not taking enough off. The day of my trim finally came and I headed to Sassy’s Salon, on my way to the salon my stomach was in knots. I just didn’t feel right but I figured my nerves were getting the best of me so I kept driving. When I reached my destination I was more nervous than ever, I wanted to cancel my appointment because I had a strange feeling in my gut but I didn’t. As I sat down Mia put the cape around my neck and begin to section my hair; she took some hair from the sides, top, and back, she never turned me around to see the mirror but I could tell what areas she was in so I sat relaxed checking out my Facebook Page.
When she finished she turned the chair around to the mirror I almost passed out, this lady cut my hair not trimmed it. I stood up and got weak in the knees, I got a headache suddenly and on top of that tears welled up in my eyes. I was livid and screamed “What did you do!” She looked at me like I was crazy!! I was so upset that tears began to flow. I grabbed my purse and stormed out, if she thought she was getting paid she was sadly mistaken.That was the worst day of my life, I’ll just add she is no longer a family friend. Ladies when you get that funny feeling in your gut pay attention because if I did I would still have my hair. This actually happened to me a couple of years ago, I changed the stylist name and the salon name I shouldn’t have , but I have moved on and will never visit her or the salon again.
I remember rocking extensions back in the day weave and glue were my best friends. I lost a lot of edges along the way and it took awhile for them to grow back but thanks to prayer and coconut oil my edges sprouted once again, LOL! I was in love with that 1b deep wave “8” inch hair that was the go to weave back then.
Some may ask why didn’t I sew it in, well to be honest I knew nothing about sew-ins until my edges ran way, even then I wasn’t trying to pay that much money for a sew-in. Bonding glue was cheap but boy did it do damage to my hair.
I remember when my best friend got married we both got twenty-seven pieces. I was loving the look but I was terrified of how I was going to get that glue out of my hair. I had already prepared myself for the pain because I knew it would hurt like heck. A friend told me that if I applied baby oil all over my head it would come out easily. I soaked my head in baby oil to the point it ran down my face, neck, and back; I refused to be in pain. After an hour of soaking the extensions they came out of my hair easily, but the glue that was stuck to my hair not so easy; just say hello big chop. My first big chop was done in the 90’s before natural hair was a big thing or lining up was a big deal 😵😵.