As I step out of the shadow of my ancestors who were taunted for their hair texture, I smile at the hatred of those that mock a generation of African Queens. Constantly called names that put down their beauty, did they not see the crown on their heads. Let me introduce myself I’m Afro-Nique, given the birth name of Sabrina to kill the stereotype of those who were named Shaquanda and Lawanda, you will be surprised how far a “GOOD” name will get you. I wear the scars of those that paved the way for my nose, my lips, my hips, for they are attached to my heritage, deeply woven by nooses that are now loosened, to chains that have been broken, to set me free. You think you know me but the pain is skin deep. I hold no grudges I rise above all that was meant to keep me down. I’m Afro-nique, not born to banded, branded, or disenchanted, but born to be ME!!
Once you cheat on a woman things will never be the same; not being bias, but men forgive more easily than women. Cheating on a woman is like digging your own grave, she will not forgive you and she will hold it against you for the rest of your life. Men if you are reading this, if you are not serious about the relationship you are in break it off, it’s better to separate on good terms than to have a “target” on your back for the rest of your life. What you have done is made it more difficult for the next man, because when she looks at him she still sees you. The quote “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,” you better believe it.
Waiting to Exhale – Bernadette sets her husband’s car on fire when he leaves her for another woman.
In closing men stay away if your intentions are not to love her, and women get to know a man before you fall in love. Everyone you meet is not meant to be introduced to your mother and kids, or brought to family gatherings, this applies to both women and men.
So you planned your wedding for years, spent thousands of dollars on a dress that you will only wear once to say ” I’s married now,” as Shug Avery exclaimed in The Color Purple only to receive the stank eye from her pa. At the beginning of your marriage you couldn’t stand to be apart, now you can’t stand to be together the dreaded marriage woes. Those vows, so short yet meaningful, for better or for worse, who said it would be easy? Maybe you just wanted the ring because of the bling, maybe you just wanted the marriage to be like your friends, maybe you thought marriage was sacred only to view it as a fad. You find out that the ring on your hand was bought at Walmart and the diamond is cubic zirconia, so you now rethink your I do’s, only to realize to stay together because divorce is costly. The truth about marriage is that it can work if you truly want it to last. Marriage is easy said no one, marriage is an commitment said everyone that is between two says married couples all over the world who put in an effort to make it last.
The most important part of this blog is in the quotation marks, “Stop Selling Yourself Short.” Some of us do this all the time because we don’t want to step on anyone’s toes; you work hard to get a new job, and make more money but you turn it down because someone is in their feelings over a blessing that God gave you. Stop letting people determine your happiness, stop letting people back you into a corner, stop letting people make you feel that you’re not good enough. The most part of this blog is in the quotation marks, “Stop Selling Yourself Short.”
Are you blogging for likes? I often ask this question amongst bloggers to get their input on why they blog. As for me blogging is like therapy; I am cleansing my soul and it just so happens people from all over the world are reading my inner thoughts. I use to get upset when my peers didn’t like what I posted but then I realized I can’t be concerned with likes; I am writing to express what I have been through or currently in the midst of. When you write for likes you’re not expressing who you are, but who people want you to be. From this day forth be you, engage your readers, dig deep. The purpose of my blog is to let others know that they are not alone, we are all fighting some type of battle or reaping some type of award. Your objective on your page is up to you but people will get more understanding when you write from the heart.
When I hear the term “Jump In” I think of water, and then the stereotype pops in my head that black people cant swim, how cliche. Truth be told I can’t swim but it’s not because I’m black it’s because I never allowed myself to learn how to swim, which brings my topic into play. I could have gotten swimming lessons but I was too proud and let pride get in the way; what forty year old have you seen in the kiddies pool? The brain is a powerful weapon if not careful you will destroy your own hopes and dreams. My pride allowed me to overthink the situation before I even had the chance to experience it, it’s time to rid yourself of negativity. Some of you are contemplating something that could be life changing but you’re afraid of jumping in, afraid of failure. I’m here to tell you that your biggest opprunity is on the other side of fear!! Don’t let age, health, or finances stop you from doing something that you have always had in your heart to do, you are doing a disservice to yourself if you allow your thoughts to doubt your new beginning before you even start. You can do it, it can be done. If I want to swim I am going to do it, if I want to go back to college I am going to do it, if I want to pursue another career I am going to do it. Jump in knowing that you control your destiny and there is always room for growth
I woke up this morning a little down in my spirit because I felt that my books weren’t receiving the attention they so desperately need and then I strolled on social media and came across a Tyler Video that talked about “Watering Your Seed.” Oh how that video changed my outlook on my situation, you see I’m so busy focusing on the now I can’t see my future. No matter who tries to dig up my seed, I must keep it watered. You see without water, plants don’t grow and branches don’t sprout leaves.
Tyler talked about his uphill journey and how he spent countless money trying to get his plays out to the mainstream audience until eventually he got a breakthrough and God opened doors for him, meaning everyone’s success don’t happen overnight but that’s not a sign for you to give up but keep pushing forward! When God gives you a gift/talent you use it don’t plant it and forget about it but water it so it can grow.
That video also made me think of the illustration in the Bible, Matthew 25:14-30 if God gives you one TALENT you use it, exercise your gift because God will make room for it Proverbs 18:16. For those who just planted a seed keep watering it, for those who seeds are starting to sprout keep watering it, for those who have branches keep watering it, for those who have leaves keep watering it and for those who have a tree keep watering it. When you keep God first your TALENT will make room for you!!