Illegitimate

I’m no bastard child even if my daddy walked out of my life before I was born, I’m no bastard child. I hold no resentment in my heart towards a man that spoke like a teacher but dressed like a pimp. Supposedly a big baller but couldn’t send 20’s, 10’s, or 5’s to a woman that was raising a child he helped create. What type of man was this? He didn’t acknowledge me as a child but as an adult he reached out to me. Keep your phone number “DADDY” the hard work was over; no more pampers, bottles, potty training your little girl has daughters of her own. Not fit to be a dad, especially not grand-dad material. The most stylish man I knew was now dead and resting with his sin of abandonment. He never took care of me and didn’t acknowledge me as he had secrets of his own. A degenerate, his greatest creation doesn’t even carry his last name and received no invitation to his funeral but looks just like him. What inheritance could he have had when he never worked a full-time job unless a drug dealer counts as one.

Fatherless children have become a fad, it takes two but the responsibility rest with one. I have matured and let a lot of my resentment go but I truly wish I could have had a relationship with the man who I look so much alike. I am no bastard child, I am no bastard child, I am no bastard child. No white picket fence, no father daughter dance, no scaring my first date, no first of nothing just the scraps left for a dog. I wish you were here so I can tell you these things face to face but instead I carry them in my heart. . A man who once lived his life to the fullest is now buried in a cold grave with no headstone to mark where he lay. It’s ironic that the ones you showered with love in life , showered you with hate in death. I forgive you daddy for all the wrongs you tried to make right.

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Consult God

Something I will never do again is leave my job without having another one to go to. I let the devil convince me to walk off my job in 2006, one disagreement with my boss and I was out. Everyone was like “girl I wouldn’t put up with that,” but no one followed behind me they weren’t foolish enough to leave their 9-5.

The first month I was good and then the money ran out. Where were my boosters? Where was the crew that told me they wouldn’t put up with it? Bills began to pile up, and the fridge became empty. I couldn’t go back and beg for my job they had already hired someone, thought I was irreplaceable!! I cried every night asking God to open a door for me. I was so angry with myself, why did I walk off that job without consulting God?

I remember searching for jobs in newspapers and online I was desperate I had two daughters that I had to provide for. One day I was sitting outside and the Lord told me that he would bless me with a job, but I would have to travel. The next morning I got up and searched online trying to find a job that would match my criteria.

I found one, but it was a 45 minute drive one way. I had made up my mind to not even consider this job; gas, wear and tear on my vehicle…this was a big N to the O!

I called my Pastor and he told me to pray on it and I did. The next week the job was still posted and a urgency came upon me. I jumped in my car and drove 15 minutes to the Workforce Center. I met with a nice lady who called the owner of the company and a interview was scheduled.

I was so nervous I didn’t know what to expect! When I met with the Vice-President of the company she told me I was one of her top prospects and she would like to schedule a second interview with me, but this time another individual who worked for the company would sit in.

I couldn’t sleep that night my mind was all over the place, I kept going back and forth to the bathroom my nerves were overpowering my body. Two interviews later I was hired as the receptionist, and after I received my degree six months later I was promoted to comptroller. I don’t recommend anyone to walk off their job, but if I hadn’t left my old job I wouldn’t have grown mentally, physically, or spiritually.

I am thankful for the Tripp’s! They offered me a job when I didn’t think I would ever get back on my feet. Even though I am no longer with the company we still remain friends to this day and I am thankful that through my job at Tripp Electric Motors I was elevated to the next level of my life. Sometimes we don’t know why things happen and God never tells us why but when we look back we understand it was for our GOOD!!

Revelation 3:8 King James Version (KJV)

I know thy works: behold, I have set before thee an open door, and no man can shut it: for thou hast a little strength, and hast kept my word, and hast not denied my name.

Convo with God

Me: Hit the alarm clock and jump out of bed

God: My grace and mercy woke you up

Lamentations 3:22-23 King James Version (KJV)

22 It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.

23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

Me: Glad the day is over

God: A day that wasn’t promised

Psalm 118:24 King James Version (KJV)

24 This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.

Me: Tired of stressing

God: Put your trust in me

2 Chronicles 20:15 King James Version (KJV)

15 And he said, Hearken ye, all Judah, and ye inhabitants of Jerusalem, and thou king Jehoshaphat, Thus saith the Lord unto you, Be not afraid nor dismayed by reason of this great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but God’s.

Me: Robbing Peter to pay Paul

God: Whatever you need I got it

Philippians 4:19 King James Version (KJV)

19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Me: Why me

God: Why not you

Matthew 22:14 King James Version (KJV)

14 For many are called, but few are chosen.

Me: Goodnight

God: Pray before you lay

Psalm 42:8 King James Version (KJV)

8 Yet the Lord will command his lovingkindness in the day time, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.

Add Jesus

Sitting at my kitchen table strolling on Facebook and seeing people that I was once close with, hanging out. All of a sudden a sense of loneliness comes over me. I shouldn’t feel this way God did bless me with a beautiful family why complain and then my loneliness speaks up and says “family yes, but friends no.” I can count on one hand how many friends I have and three of them are associates so you do the math. Immediately I consult the Lord on this and he immediately gives me an answer. “I am your friend when you are friendless, add me.”

Such a generic answer Lord I know this, but that’s not what I want to hear right now and then he leads me to this bible passage.

1 Peter 2:9 King James Version (KJV)

But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light.

I then realize that the friendship he has offered me is far more than the superficial ones that I have on this earth. I let Facebook distract me today, I got so caught up in worldly happiness that I forgot about eternal happiness. I must not be distracted by the things of this world because one day it will all pass away. As a Christian I must continue to live holy for the Lord even if it means standing alone. I chose to serve the Lord along time ago and there is no turning back. My job now is to pray for those that are lost that one day they will come over on the Lords side because one cannot serve two masters.

Joshua 24:15 King James Version (KJV)

15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

The Lord has embedded these two scriptures into my heart today and I am reminded that even though I am in the flesh when that lonely spirit arises I need to meditate on his word. I will continuously pray for those that Satan has blinded and binded that one day they will seek the Lord and answer his call upon their lives.

Big Bang Theory

I am still trying to fathom how so many believe that the world we live in was created by “The Big Bang Theory.” I ponder this question every morning when I walk outside my door and see the clouds hung in the sky and the sun shining bright, I ponder this question every night as the stars and moon give us light in the darkness. There are no strings visible to hold up the sun or moon but it’s stays put never falling from the sky. Man says it’s the “Big Bang Theory ” surprisingly they seem to have an explanation for everything even when their wrong.

Genesis 1 King James Version (KJV)

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

I know there are some that don’t believe in God so they are totally against his power to create the heavens and earth… boggles my mind but when in need for a healing that’s the first name they call upon . ( food for thought)

I know there are some that may have never heard of this theory in a short explanation, the Big Bang is a scientific theory about how the universe started, and then made the stars and galaxies we see today. They say it was an explosion and as it cooled overtime became the world we live in today.

I laugh at this theory but let’s give credit to someone with a vivid imagination. I brought up this topic today for Christians to be mindful of worldly thoughts. We live in a word where everything is being shoved in our face to steer us in the wrong direction from the word of God, but don’t let anyone persuade you to have doubt in God or his creations.

Purpose Filled Life

You have been through so much in your life and some are wondering why you’re smiling and not crying. This life that you were given has not been easy and on your hardest days you wish that you could snap your fingers and make it all go away. Sometimes you wish you were never born and often times you wish that you were dead. Life has gotten the best of you and your soul is empty, you’re at a place in your life that you have no more to give. You have contemplated suicide but fear won’t let you do it.

The enemy has done everything in his power to destroy you. He has made you feel useless, and worthless. You have turned your back on your friends and family secluding yourself letting him whisper in your ear that you’re nothing and no one will miss you when you’re gone.

“STOP” thinking this way immediately….God has a plan for you, he didn’t create you to be unwanted but wanted, he didn’t create you to be fearful but fearless. You are somebody, I repeat you are somebody and you have a “PURPOSE FILLED LIFE” awaiting you.

The Wooden House

Today I pictured myself as a little girl walking by the wooden house. I wanted to revisit my past and see the beauty of it one more time. As I glanced in the doorway I could see Mrs. Bell sitting in her favorite chair as the smell of fried chicken seeped through the window tickling my nose; her smile and laughter made me pause and reflect. As her gray hairs glistened her smile was radiant she looked so happy. As I grabbed her hand death forbid me to bring her along.

As I blinked my eyes I was no longer in the past but the present. The sunlight had awoken me out of a deep trance, but as I looked beside me there stood the wooden house. The house was no longer full of life, but abandoned, the door was no longer there and the house was mangled. I could no longer hear the laughter or smell the fried chicken but I felt a breeze of loneliness and it longed to live on.

Christ Like

Are you a Christian, do you treat everyone with kindness and pray for them earnestly?

I asked that question because you have some folks who parade around the church every Sunday professing they love the Lord, but Monday through Saturday their hearts are hardened towards others.

Titus 1:16 – They profess that they know God; but in works they deny [him], being abominable, and disobedient, and unto every good work reprobate.

Some are living to please their Pastor, Bishop, or Priest a man who doesn’t have the power to put them in heaven or hell and are neglecting the fruits of the spirit.

They fail to realize that some people will never come to church or pick up a bible, but they observe Christian living daily by the deacon, minister, choir, lay member, and pastor actions outside of those church walls.

For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth.

You never know whose watching, Christian living is a not a part time job but a full time one. God truly looks on the heart and by your works will he say “SERVANT WELL DONE.”

Jeremiah 17:9-10 King James Version (KJV)

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

10 I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.

Alibi

The smoke detector sounds as Joanna Morris jumps out of her bed to the smell of smoke seeping under bedroom door. Touching the door she can feel the heat, her only escape is through her bedroom window. As the house goes up in flames Joanna is startled by a touch on her shoulder; turning only to see a 45 caliber hand gun pointed at her, paralyzed with fear she drops to the ground.

The bullet has pierced her flesh and trickles of blood are now staining her satin nightgown; the ground is wet and cold as she gasps for air clinching her bible that she refused to let burn.

When my inner voices won’t leave me alone, I began to write!!

Twitter and Tweets

Browsing on Twitter and I get a notification that a celebrity I have just started to follow received over 1k likes on a tweet… the tweet to me is not worthy of one thousand likes and then I start to question why I’m even following this person. They seem a little bit out there… in space I mean. Then I come to the realization that I’ve been bit by “celeb tweet mania.” This type of mania occurs when you can’t get enough of your favorite character on television so you follow them on Twitter thinking they will bring that character home… LOL!!!

If you truly think about social media everything is transforming Twitter has become the new Facebook, and Instagram has become the new Pinterest.

I have since deleted that person, I’ll live with the character on television because their personal life is painting a picture I rather not see.