Heartbroken

The joy a mother feels when she finds out she’s expecting is priceless, but the heartbreak of a miscarriage is devastating.

The loss of a child leaves an emptiness in a mother’s heart.

I still remember it as if it was yesterday when I miscarried.

I was mad

I was hurt

I was saddened

I kept telling myself that God needed you back, as quickly as he had placed you in my womb.

It’s been so hard for me to share this

I truly miss you

I will forever love you

I am reminded when I look at your two sisters and brother that you should be here.

I know you’re watching over them

Again you should be here

Until we meet again

Sleep in Peace

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Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

I don’t know how many people still write to you, but I just want to thank you for being such a wonderful friend over the years. I can honestly say that I have confided in some people that didn’t keep what I told them in confidence, but I can never say this about you. Everything I told you, you never told a single soul and I just want to thank you. I remember as a young child when my grandfather introduced us you were locked up and he gave me a little key. I couldn’t understand why, but he told me things that were of value should be locked up. Even though we went our separate ways when I became a young adult, thinking I had out grew our friendship I just want to say I’m sorry and I’m in need your friendship again. I miss putting pen to paper and sharing with you my day to day; some entries made me laugh, cry, and angry but you helped me to get through it. May this rekindled friendship last a lifetime.

Xoxo,

Sabrina

Love

You will know it, no one will have to tell you and you won’t have to ask. When the right person comes along your heart will skip a beat and flutter at the same time. Love is such an amazing feeling, and the feeling never fades. I use to always wonder how couples stayed married for over 30 years, but as I got older I realized it was trust, honesty, and faithfulness that kept them together.

I use to always wish for that type of love growing up; wishing one day I would meet that special someone that my heart would marry. I wanted that rare love I grew up seeing, the love that was permanent and wouldn’t fade or become uprooted by a disagreement.

Happy to say I have that love now, took me awhile to receive it, but I’m blessed to have it. It’s an amazing feeling even writing about it doesn’t do the feeling justice. If you haven’t experienced the feeling of “LOVE” I pray you get to experience it one day and tell others so they know it does exist.

Support

You find out who your true friends are when you need their support. The true test of a friend is when you decide to make a change in your life. Pay close attention to how many will encourage you to go for it or how many will discourage you to quit before you even start this should be a determining factor of who to cut out of your life. It’s a shame to say the word “SUPPORT” has broken up long term relationships that made pinky promises and swore to never let anything come between them but jealousy did.

Jealousy is a terrible disease that rises up in people’s heart that causes one to dislike another’s success. Some people don’t want you to be a step ahead, not knowing that success is granted to anyone who works for it. I have learned over the years that I outgrew some relationships (family, friends) and it’s okay because it’s apart of my growth.

I’ve learned over the years to ⤵️

Stop taking step backwards because of unsupportive people…..

Stop being ashamed of my progress and success….

Stop letting others determine my destiny….

My daily quote ⤵️

“I am strong, determined, meaningful, successful, and enough. I may lose some supporters, but that is okay because the reward will be greater at the end.”

– S. Gonzalez

Empowering Women

Women should empower other women, as a woman you shouldn’t be jealous of your girlfriends, but rooting for them to win. I have seen so many women digging ditches for those that are living out their dreams. Why are they hating when they can work hard and make it happen for themselves? Even those that get ahead still hate because they don’t want anyone to surpass them. I decided last night to create a group on Facebook titled “Successful Women Rock!” Hatred has no place in sisterhood, but unity. If we aren’t happy for one another’s success women supporters as we know them will become extinct. Be the supporter, the encourager, the EMPOWERED!!

Even if I don’t know you let’s empower one another. Please join this group to show your support to other women.

https://m.facebook.com/groups/179866522616331

Fatherless

I’ve told my story to many and how growing up without a dad almost destroyed my inner being. While others hugged their father and became a daddy’s girl I became my grandfathers daughter because that’s who raised me. I remember asking my grandad could I call him dad and he replied yes. I thought I would eventually get over the way I felt toward my dad but as I have become older the feeling of being abandoned still eats away at me daily.

I have come to the realization that I was a fatherless child, even though his DNA helped to create me the man he was didn’t help raise me. It’s sad and unfortunate because I think I’m pretty amazing. I can recall asking him for $20.00 dollars and his reply of I don’t have it when he wore a neck full of chains and both hands weighted down with rings made me cringe.

No longer alive I can only go visit a grave without a headstone because as he abandoned me when I was a child he had been abandoned in death by the ones he loved so dearly. At his grave an orange flag marks where his head and feet lay. I could say this is karma, but the sad thing is I still love the man who didn’t love me back and even though he never gave to me I’m in the process of giving him a headstone.

New Year = Change

Christmas is over and the countdown has begun for a new year; the new year is quickly approaching and now all the “resolutions” are flowing into the atmosphere of YEAH RIGHT, CHILD BOO and STOP THE LIES. Some are approaching a new year with a motto of change but a mind to stay the same. Losing weight and giving up cigarettes were the top two resolutions when I was a kid, but now people are pushing the envelope by promising to leave their jobs and disown their dysfunctional families.

While these resolutions are very are drastic, why do some have to wait for a “New Year” to make a change?

Remember change begins with you before it can begin with anyone else, January 1st, is only a date not a LIFE CHANGER.